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Discerning - What do you say when you don’t know?

Posted: November 2, 2008 7:52 pm by KG4RCP
Filed under: Kevin, Uncategorized

“Goals are discovered, not made.” - Richard J. Foster, Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth, 1978

I found this quote before making my post and thought it apropos and germane to the discussion.

You know, lately I’ve been thinking about what it means to discern.

On the surface, it seems to mean “figuring out,” or “telling the difference between” one thing or another. And then, to do those things, folks sometimes talk about contemplating and meditating.

Now, I’ve not been one to sit for hours on end in some flower-like position, chanting or humming some weirded-out tune hoping for enlightenment… as if I’m in the dark. Of course, at this hour, if I turned off the lamp, I would be in the dark, save for the luminous glow from my laptop computer screen. But then, that would only be an annoying glare, even in the most dimmed position.

Believe me. I speak from experience.

I have come to enjoy the meaning of words. And when able, I particularly enjoy reading James Kilpatrick’s syndicated column “The Writer’s Art”. Doesn’t the English language have such wonderful nuances? And, it can be equally hilarious!

Along that path, I found out that there is a word used to describe how we came to have certain words. It’s called entomology.

Actually, that bugs me. It’s called etymology… and don’t you forget it!

So, I looked up the origin of the word “discern” and found something interesting. But first, a word from our sponsor:

Earlier, I had looked up the modern meanings and origin of the words “contemplate” and “meditate.” I wasn’t particularly impressed with what I found.

One stemmed from a meaning of limitation, while another had originations in the practice of watching birds fly to predict the future. Yet both words had very similar modern meanings, and in fact, seemed to indicate I should think about my natural lint trap, otherwise known as a belly button.

It seems kinda’ weird, doncha’ think? I mean, to watch birds fly and hope for some crystal ball experience. What I want to know is, who was watching the skies over Washington, D.C. and Wall Street before the housing meltdown started? And quite honestly, the only thing I ever think about my navel is… nothing! But I do like the Jimi Hendrix song (Looking Out My) “Belly Button Window.”

Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

So like I said, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my present life. And at this point, I have more questions than answers. In essence, it seems to be somewhat confusing. It reminds me of the lyrics to a song I heard in the early 1980’s which paraphrased say in part, ’sometimes the questions say more than the answers ever will.’

It’s that “not knowing” part that really bugs me. I have a scientifically trained mind, but I also play music, sing, photograph and ta - dah! I write. So, I’m also autistic… er, artistic.

You know, if you’d asked me say, twenty years ago or so, if I would have ever imagined myself to have done or accomplished even half the things I’ve done, I probably would have said, “no.” But, here I am! And as far as I can see, there’s no sign of stopping me. Heigh ho, heigh ho, I’m off to old Fresno!

Anyway… while searching for commentary about spirituality, I read Dr. Harry W. Schaumburg’s citation of author Tim Challies (”The Discipline of Spiritual Discernment”) review of a John Eldredge book (”Walking With God”). Whew! (Did you get that?!)

Challies wrote, “Walking with God offers confusion rather than clarity.”

Dang it! I wasn’t hoping for that! Well, that makes be feel much better, ’cause like I wrote, “it’s that “not knowing” part that really bugs me.”

But some folk seem to indicate that by devoting one’s life to God everything’s gonna’ be hunky dory, and your life and all problems will be like Frosted Lucky Charms… “magically delicious.”

However, Schaumburg wrote that, “We don’t need a new revelation from God that we think is going to keep us happy, safe and in the center of His will. The guidance of the Lord runs throughout the Bible with repeated commands, instructions, admonitions, exhortations, rebukes and encouragements. Remember this: When you have a plan, even a plan for your spiritual life, relational life, or career, you are not in control. God is sovereign even when things don’t turn out right. God has a plan; God is in control. Within the broad framework of God’s spoken word we have the freedom to live our lives for the glory of God. “…Biblical spirituality starts with God at the center and continues with Him at the focus of attention for His glory. When that becomes our priority we will be drawn to the idea of “. . . stirring up your sincere mind by way of reminder, that you should remember the predictions of the holy prophets and the commandment of the Lord and Savior . . .” (2 Peter 3:1-3).”

It seems as if doing is much more important than thinking. It’s not that thinking is unimportant. But there is a sense of development which can only come from practice, that can only come from having repetitively done something over a period of time. It’s almost like the time-honored answer to the person seeking direction whom asked, “How do I get to Carnegie Hall?”

Came the answer, “Practice, practice, practice.”

My Spiritual Director put it this way, “God can only direct us when we’re in motion.”

Now, I’m a praying man, and much of my prayer life has become simplified. I’ve studied some of the precepts of “recovery” as it relates to addiction and substance misuse. And one of the greatest things which I have found useful is an only slightly modified prayer which the Christ prayed.

It goes like this: “Thy will - not mine - be done.”

I reckon if it was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me. So, I find myself praying all kinds of things, but I always finish up with that.

From my perspective, it’s a surrender of sorts. It’s a statement that ultimately, I’m not in control, that I’m not in charge. There’s something beyond me over which I have no control, and which is bigger, smarter and longer lasting than my mortal flesh. It’s like me in some ways, but only much, much better. It’s the “new and improved” version.

It’s the me I would be if I didn’t have to be concerned about me.

My understanding of such surrender was furthered by a dear friend whom shared that, “I don’t believe in coincidences. I believe in God incidences.”

So I see myself doing. And doing, and doing, and doing… and I wonder, what in God’s name AM I doing? Actually, I don’t worry or fret about it, although I do think about it on occasion, ’cause I REALLY want to make certain I’m doing the right thing. Here I have all these really cool gifts, talents which I possess, none for which I asked. Now that I have ‘em, what do I do with ‘em?

Well, as it turns out I was praying out loud in the shower one morning - as is my custom - and while praying I learned that though a gift gives the recipient much joy, it gives the one whom has it much more joy when they share it. In other words, a gift is to be used for others, e.g., it is to be given away. I enjoy playing, composing & singing music. It pleases me even more when others are blessed by my skills. I enjoy communicating orally & in writing. It pleases me when others express their sense of satisfaction from my work.

In essence, I’ve gotta’ give ‘em away! It’s like love. It’s the only thing you can get more of by giving it away.

I responded to a friend’s blog (The Dark Glass) and a post entitled “Persistent Voice Calling,” which was ostensibly about the contemplative or meditative life, and I wrote that “The contemplative life is on the go.”

So there you have it.

Doing, and doing, and doing.

And superficially, it grates my mind to think that even for a moment I wouldn’t know, or that confusion could or would be accompanying my walk. But I recall a recent conversation with a friend that went like this:

Me: “What do you say when you don’t have answers?”

Friend: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Yes, that’s right. But, I don’t know either.”

That exchange seemed reminiscent of Abbot & Costello’s famous “Who’s on first?” comedy routine.

Then later, I sent a text message to another friend whom asked me why I didn’t know something. My only response was this reply: “Why don’t I know what I don’t know? I don’t know.”

Now about confusion… one definition says it’s “disorder resulting from a failure to behave predictably.”

And it derived from a French term (gotta’ love those French!) meaning “overthrow” and “ruin.” In fact, it’s an action noun (Huh?) stemming from a word meaning “to pour together.” So in that sense, I find a strange sense of comfort that “Walking with God offers confusion rather than clarity.”

As far as “the commandment of the Lord and Savior…,” which is most likely “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and most important commandment. The second is like it: ‘You must love your neighbor as yourself.’” well, there again is that thing about doing, acting, behaving, taking a course of action, a path of life. In essence, it is a pouring together of one life into a greater one. It is us pouring our lives into His.

Karen Covell, founder of the Hollywood Prayer Network, a group of 5000 Christians working in Hollywood that regularly pray for stars & celebrities & distributes Bibles to them said, “If you truly believe in God and you believe God has a transforming power, then leave it up to Him.”

I know that “in HIm we live and move and have our being,” and that
“in all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.”

So, in the words of the traditional Southern blues style gospel song popularized by Mississippi John Hurt, “Here am I LORD, send me.”
And as we began, so we conclude.

Richard J. Foster wrote of finding solitude in Celebration of Discipline that, “We are dealing with actions, not merely states of mind.”

So, what do I do next? I guess the only thing I should do is continue being me, and doing the things I do. I will do what I can do, and God will do the rest.

Amen.